Wise beyond their years

Upon approaching a group of notoriously late high school students in the hallway, I decided to figure out the motivation behind their tardiness. This isn't funny so much as enlightening.

Mr. F: You guys are amazing. Really.

Group: What?

Mr. F: I mean really. You have perfected the art of the slow walk. I'm not even sure that it's physically possible for me to walk that slowly.

Group: Mista, you got long legs. We can't walk that fast.

Mr. F: M, you're taller than I am. Look, this is how easily you can walk at a normal speed. (Demonstrates walking normally)

Group: But mista, there's a difference between us.

Mr. F: What is that?

Group: You care about where you're going. We don't. And we'll get there eventually. Sometime.

Strange Bedfellows

While taking inventory of my school's current band music, I came across the following arrangements, resting peacefully side by side:



"Death and Transfiguration" by Richard Strauss

"Cry Me a River" Justin Timberlake

"Crazy in Love" Beyonce Knowles

"A Copland Portrait" Aaron Copland

Shooting the messenger

I've been reluctant to post this story, but it has been some time since this incident. Around Thanksgiving, teachers were given a memo instructing them to help curb the constant iPod and hat wearing in the hallways. The following occured the day I received the memo:

Mr. F: Excuse me, can you remove your hat please?
(notice the polite address, and the interrogative in lieu of an imperative...)

X: Excuse me, but can you take your f***ing scalp off?

Mr. F: What did you just say? I just asked you to take your hat off.

X: And I just asked if you could take your f***ing scalp off.

Mr. F: I think you need to relax all I did was ASK you. Now I am telling you. Take off your hat.

X: Take off your f***ing scalp.

Mr. F: You know I need to write this up, right?

X: I don't give a f***. F*** all ya'll teachers.

Passing Notes, Part 1

A note, passed in class between two seventh grade girls, was confiscated. These are the contents. No changes have been made:

Girl 1:
1) hi! babes I missed you!
2) gotta tell you something fumi
3) how was your trip?

Girl 2:
1 - hi! I missed you 2!! lolzz
2 - I got to tell you something sad!
But what do you got to tell me first?
3 - it was iight, well I met someone

OMFG!


It is remarkable that with so many words they said so little.

Getting a grip

The first thing I heard upon entering the building this week was this:

"So, I talked to his mother and it turns out that M's blackout WAS caused by the chokehold that T put him in. That's what the hospital told her."


For real.

Fashion faux pas

Mr. F: "Does anyone know what this word means? It's pronounced vi va chi."

N: "Isn't that the fashion designer guy?"

No rest for the weary

Over break, while attending a professional development conference, I received the following email:

S is suspended for spraying a fire extinguisher at Ms. L's door and then cursing at Ms. L. She is suspended "home" until January 7th. I did mail her math packet and ELA holiday plan home.


Have a nice vacation.