Mixed Feelings

It is unclear whether or not this quote is funny, although it certainly serves as an apt summary of the school's situation:

"Mr. F, sorry about those boxes in your storage room. We ran out of space last year after graduation, so we had to throw those boxes somewhere, you know? We'll have the boxes taken out, though. They are just caps and gown, so they're light. The reason there are so many is because the school ordered a bunch for last year, but then there were so many students that didn't graduate that we had all of the extras. Don't worry, the boxes will be gone soon enough."

Yikes.

See me after class

An after class meeting with two disruptive female students went something like this:

Me: You cannot be talking in my class. I have to teach and you have to learn. If you're talking, there is no possible way you could be learning. It is very disrespectful to speak or play when a teacher is talking, and you were doing both. Don't disrespect me again in my class, or I will have to call home. Do you understand?

Female student 1: Yes.

Female student 2: Is that your natural eye color?

In the news

Recent "headlines" from the teacher's union newspaper:



"Union wins strong agreement, but district's implementation flawed"

"Department of Education efforts to increase therapists workloads defeated"

"Union criticizes state report on dangerous schools"

"Judge: paraprofessionals not required to attend faculty meetings"

"Union's fight for smaller classes continues"

"How to do the least amount of work that you are contractually obligated to do, while getting paid more to do it"


I may have fabricated the last one, but you get the idea.

Biting my tongue

This post may cater to a slightly esoteric and limited crowd of music majors, but nevertheless...

In a student's first trumpet lesson, regarding the topic of hand position, he was given this advice: (for those non-music majors reading, I have bolded the unsettling parts)

What you want to do now is put your pinkie in the pinkie ring on the top here. Good. That's because as you play, later on you'll use that pinkie to pull the trumpet towards your face to create pressure. Excellent.

Helping or Hurting?

One of my three APs, attempting to help me fashion my discipline procedures to mirror school policy, had this to suggest:

"When you do remove a student from class activity, try to have something else for him to work on alone, to occupy his time. For instance, any make-up classwork, any homework, or any work from your music textbook. Wait, are there such things as music textbooks?"

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone

When discussing the regional differences in rap music, one student offered this criticism of southern rap:

"But they ain't say they words right!"

It was said without any sense of irony.

80% of success...

An informative conversation with my AP during the second week of school went something like this:

AP: Mr. F, how has attendance been in your classes?

Mr. F: Well, first period has been a little rough. Out of 15 students, I've had 5 show up. 4. Really more like 4.

AP: Oh. Well, you should probably try calling homes. Actually, just give me the names of the students who are absent. No, on second thought, just wait on it. We are still figuring things out in the office. Some of those students probably don't even go here anymore, or they transferred, or they dropped out. We just don't know. We'll have it sorted out by the third or fourth week of school.

Mr. F: So what happens next?

AP: Well, sometime soon, hopefully schoolwide attendance will get above 80%, and then we can get things moving.

Mr. F: Right.

Ebonic Mnemonic

Concerning the treble clef,
The way I learned it:

Every Good Bird Does Fly



The urban version:

Elephants Got Big Dirty Feet



I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

The ties that bind them

In the middle of my first conversation with F, he willingly disclosed this incriminating information (which I have paraphased to the best of my recollection):

I do things my way. That's why a lot of people here don't like me. They tell me Frank, you're too honest. But why am I gonna talk to you if I don't like you? The only thing I would say is, "I don't like you". But people don't like that. Like my wife. With me, its always family first. She tells me I'm too honest. She had two deaths in her family this year, and so yeah, I'm home every night after work to see her. She grieves in her own way. She asks why I don't cry. I do things my way remember? So family first, I'll be there for her and we'll eat dinner and I'm home with her, but I won't cry. I mean, I have the girlfriend on the side, but it's still family first. My girlfriend is moving Florida, and wants me to visit. What's Frank's rule? My way. Sorry, I'm not going. And my ex-wife lives in Florida, so my wife wouldn't want me traveling there, because she'd think I was visiting her. So I said to my girlfriend, lets go to London. She doesn't want to go to London. I told her, I do things my way, no London? Bye! But yeah, family first.

Purpose

To make light of what may potentially be a bleak and frustrating year of teaching music in an urban school.