Are you there God, it's me...

Overheard in school:

"Do you think Jesus gets e-mail?"

No, actually, I don't.

I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE

I recently received this request for a recommendation letter:

Hi, Mr. F

This is J in your 6th grade talent. If you don't know me that's a shame . I am writing to you today about a program I wish to enroll in. The program is called the ________. PLEASE WRITE ME A RECOMMENDATION LETTER, (I'M NOT WRITING IN CAPS BECAUSE THE STATEMENT WAS IMPORTANT... WELL IT IS... BUT ITS JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE LAPTOP.) IT IS IMportant that music teachers of mine will have to write a recommendation letter. Since you are one, please do, it would help me to get in to a great program. It doesnt have to be long, you may play with the fonts and words if you would like to . If you do, please hand it to me in class with a signature. If you don't have time or the pen is just heavy or you couldn't type cause your fingers were tired for demonstrating for your students in Winds Talent. I can understand so thankyou either ways and please give me your answer ASAP.

After I wrote the letter, he then followed up:

"My mother would like to know if the letter was at least 75 percent good things and not too many bad."

They were 100 percent good.

CDO

Sometimes, it's best to not let students know you are listening to their conversations. Then you hear gems like this:

L: Wait, what if you had OCD AND collected Pokemon?
M: L, that doesn't even make sense.
L: Dude, it totally makes sense. Think deeper. Think about what OCD does. Think about what you gotta go in Pokemon...
A: L, really that doesn't make sense.
L: Ok, listen. OCD makes you have, like, everything in order. If you have Pokemon, and OCD, you're gonna wanna catch' em all.
A: I mean OCD wouldn't mean you'd want to catch them all, it would just mean you'd want them in order. Maybe it kind of makes sense.
L: DUDE! There are Pokemon that you do have, and there are also Pokemon that you do not have. Do you wanna catch em' all? Fine, we'll just talk at lunch.

These students are all in eighth grade.