Failblog

The end of the semester would be an appropriate time for another "Fun With Numbers" entry, but I find that the calculations are both depressing and redundant; many students fail my (and other) classes. That is old news. To keep things interesting, I recently asked colleagues for the various ways in which they have let students know that they had failed. Important pieces of information to keep in mind are that my school gives numerical grades,that anything below 65 is a failing grade, and that 55 is the lowest possible grade.

For occasions when a student speaks multiple languages:

"How do you say 'fifty-five' in (language here)? I want to get it right when your parents come up to school."

"How do you say 'Summer School' in (language here)?"

For other situations:

"Why are you asking what his grade is? His sixty has nothing to do with your fifty-five. You earned them separately."

"When your parents get your report card and ask why your grades are so bad, all you'll be able to say is, 'I plead the fifty-fifth!'"

"Tell me again, what grade is it you'll be repeating next year?"

"Hey, hey, don't worry about trying so hard right now. Just relax, because we'll have plenty of time to try again next semester."

I have only inserted one of my own. However, I have certainly borrowed almost all of these at one time or another.