Fashion faux pas

Mr. F: "Does anyone know what this word means? It's pronounced vi va chi."

N: "Isn't that the fashion designer guy?"

No rest for the weary

Over break, while attending a professional development conference, I received the following email:

S is suspended for spraying a fire extinguisher at Ms. L's door and then cursing at Ms. L. She is suspended "home" until January 7th. I did mail her math packet and ELA holiday plan home.


Have a nice vacation.

Captain Africa

From an eighth grade personal narrative:

"Being Captain Africa is more than just raising your fist and yelling, 'Black Power!' in the hallways. It is also standing up for every person's rights, no matter what color their skin."


This narrative received a failing grade.

Student Highlight: Q

Normally, sixth grade students are given a few months in their elective classes. However, Q managed to be removed from music class in less than a month with remarkable ease. Some highlights that led to that debacle follow:

Mr. F: "Q, you need to sit down"

Q: "[Get] The f--- outta heah"

Mr. F: "Q, you can either sit down or go to the suspension room"

Q: "Nah nah nah" ("no no no")

Mr. F "Q, now you need to leave. Should I get security to take you?"

Q: "F--- you"


And scene.


A month or two later, Q was in a class that I was covering for a colleague. After just 45 minutes, Q managed to get himself suspended out of school for several weeks. Here's why:

"Mrs. F! You like boys! You like boys!"

"You gay Mr. F, you gay"

After uttering these nifty phrases, Q then shut the lights off, kicked a chair over, writhed on the floor, and screamed like a baby. Twice.

The new classics

It is difficult to keep up with all of the things the youngsters say these days, so here is an addendum to my original list:


"Mista, why you comin' mad hard?" (Why are you being so directive and firm with your
tone of voice?)


"You beastin' mista" (One of the many ways to say "You trippin")


"You fienden' mista" (Ditto)


"Why you actin' srurd?" (Ditto)


"Oh no son, you wilin'" (Ditto)


The only explanation that I can offer...I have many students that feel offended frequently...

Student Highlight: D

I'd like to introduce you to D. A sweet, young, harworking student, D usually never says more than he needs to, and is perhaps my most innocent student. While sharing his Thanksgiving experiences, he perhaps said a bit too much...


"We got up at 5 to cook the turkey at my aunt's house. And my mom cooked the turkey and then we ate the turkey and the bones. It was a big turkey, and there was a bunch of other food. We ate it all! Then my mom got drunk."

The classics

When addressing a student in my school, they are (it seems) required to respond with one of the following (accompanied by translation):


"You VIOLATIN' !" (You are insulting me.)


"No he di-ant!" (No he did not!)


"You trippin!" (You must be mistaken.)


"Dat's grimy" (That is disagreeable)


"I'm TIGHT" (I honestly don't know what this one means)


"You TIGHT" (Still don't know what it means)


As a general rule, the addition of the word "Son" the the end of these responses would also be appropriate.