I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE

I recently received this request for a recommendation letter:

Hi, Mr. F

This is J in your 6th grade talent. If you don't know me that's a shame . I am writing to you today about a program I wish to enroll in. The program is called the ________. PLEASE WRITE ME A RECOMMENDATION LETTER, (I'M NOT WRITING IN CAPS BECAUSE THE STATEMENT WAS IMPORTANT... WELL IT IS... BUT ITS JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE LAPTOP.) IT IS IMportant that music teachers of mine will have to write a recommendation letter. Since you are one, please do, it would help me to get in to a great program. It doesnt have to be long, you may play with the fonts and words if you would like to . If you do, please hand it to me in class with a signature. If you don't have time or the pen is just heavy or you couldn't type cause your fingers were tired for demonstrating for your students in Winds Talent. I can understand so thankyou either ways and please give me your answer ASAP.

After I wrote the letter, he then followed up:

"My mother would like to know if the letter was at least 75 percent good things and not too many bad."

They were 100 percent good.

CDO

Sometimes, it's best to not let students know you are listening to their conversations. Then you hear gems like this:

L: Wait, what if you had OCD AND collected Pokemon?
M: L, that doesn't even make sense.
L: Dude, it totally makes sense. Think deeper. Think about what OCD does. Think about what you gotta go in Pokemon...
A: L, really that doesn't make sense.
L: Ok, listen. OCD makes you have, like, everything in order. If you have Pokemon, and OCD, you're gonna wanna catch' em all.
A: I mean OCD wouldn't mean you'd want to catch them all, it would just mean you'd want them in order. Maybe it kind of makes sense.
L: DUDE! There are Pokemon that you do have, and there are also Pokemon that you do not have. Do you wanna catch em' all? Fine, we'll just talk at lunch.

These students are all in eighth grade.

On the seventh day

It is the policy of my school that teachers cannot assign homework due on or immediately following any religious holiday or ceremony. Because the school has a religiously diverse student body, this can sometimes be a planning nightmare. I was initially worried after assigning a project that was due on a day I thought was religion free:

Mr. F: "Where is F? He isn't here to hand in his project?"

R: "Yeah, he's not here because he's practicing his freedom of religion."

Mr. F: "Oh no! Was today a holiday I forgot about? I was so sure it wasn't..."

R: "Well not exactly. He just texted me and he's at home religiously observing his XBox."

Always worth it!

I've known for a while now that R is one of those 6th graders who is so weird that it would be impossible for him not to end up on this blog eventually. Sure enough, I found this in the "comments" section of his most recent practice log:

"In my playing quiz, you said my articulation is BAD, but it is not. My tonguing is crisp like bud light."

I'm sure he'll have more to come.

"I'm only in this song because I'm a..."

After returning from vacation, my 6th grade enrichment class shared interesting stories from their breaks. After the entire class was dismissed, M, came up to me and was nothing short of ebullient while describing the following "interesting" story:

M: "I meant to tell this in class! So, I was with my dad, and we were in line, and he has zipper pockets to keep stuff in. So the guy at the counter was like, 'Oh, that's 20 dollars,' so my dad pulls put his credit card from the zipper. Then, he puts it back in the zipper. And the guy was like, 'Can I see your ID?', so my dad unzipped his other pocket and took out his ID. When he went to put it back in his other pocket, his credit card was missing! So we asked the guy if he had it, and he didn't. So we looked around, and it wasn't on the ground. And then my dad turns to the guy behind us in line, who was black, and asked why he took it. And he got really mad and was like, "I didn't take it!". And it turns out he wasn't a thief, he was just a black guy next to us in line! My dad found it in his other pocket later."


You can bet I was relieved!

Theory of Relativity...

...as explained by eighth grader K in the "comments" section of her practice log:

"Why is it that 40 mins on facebook goes by so quickly, but 40 minutes of practicing seems like an eternity?"


It seems that although she is young, she is certainly ready for the demands of college.

Passing Notes Part...5?

This note was confiscated in a second grade music classroom, sometime before recess and after morning snack:


"L,

Come to the bathroom at recess for sex.

Bring chips and drinks.
- D"

This is obviously not my story, since I don't teach elementary school. If nothing else, however, this story demonstrates the power of pedagogue networking.