Food for thought

High School student A on the pros and cons of out of school suspension:

"Yo, when I was suspended last year, I went to a school for 4 days that was like straight thugs. I'm talkin' real gangsta sh*t. They had metal detectors on every floor. Even goin' into the cafeteria. What am I gonna go, go 'round stabbin' the milk cartons? They had nice food though. The school is mad ghetto, but they got quality food. I'm talkin' like McDonalds quality."

This is not funny

There is nothing about this that is funny. It just so perfectly illustrates the polarity of experiences that I... experience at my job.

Somewhere during the day, a seventh grade female student C (remember, there is no greater evil than seventh grade girls) hugged me and said, "Mr. F, please come back next year". This made me feel the kind of validation and acceptance that has eluded me all year. It was a good day.

Then, later on in the day, walking outside of the school, I passed by the baseball team. As I was about to wave to them (from across the street), a student of mine, J, pointed his bat in my direction and said, loud enough for me to hear, "Yo! Look at this f*ggot!". It was a bad day.

There is nothing about this that is funny.

Gooooooooooaaaal(s)!

My advisory group, who provide a significant portion of my blog material, was asked to fill out a goal sheet. This sheet included questions about their end of the year goals, such as "What do you want to accomplish before the end of the May?", "How do you intend to reach your goal?", and "What has gotten in the way of your goal so far?". Most of the students wrote, in my opinion, admirable goals. Take A, for instance:

What do you want to accomplish before the end of May?
I don't want no more detentions.

How do you intend to reach your goal?
Do good in school. And listen to the teacher. And not talk alot. And not hit anybody.

What has gotten in the way of your goal so far?
I talk and hit and don't listen.

Both insightful and honest. Now take R...

What do you want to accomplish before the end of May?
I want to beat Guitar Hero 3 on expert.

How do you intend to reach your goal?
Play alot.

What has gotten in the way of your goal so far?
School got in the way.

Ba dum tsshhhh

In today's sixth grade class, a snare drum was placed very precariously on its stand. In what was an inevitable incident, a student managed to knock over the drum so that it landed on its side with a crash, and then proceeded to travel down two of the terraced steps of the band room. A silence fell over the class. Immediately after, L broke the tension by yelling out:

"Now that's what I call a drum roll!"

American knees...

I'm pretty sure that A, mentioned so many times in this blog, could provide in one day enough material to last me for a year. The following is A's own narration that accompanied a film about traditional Japanese music.

A: "Yo! These people look Chinese and stuff! Chingy Changa Ching!"

Mr. J: "A, they are from Japan. That makes them Japanese."

A: "Yo! Like Mitsubishi and Toyota and Honda and cars from Japan. I gotta nice car we drive it like this!" (Here, A imitates the screeching of tires while spinning an invisible steering wheel).

Mr. J: "Okay A, what else comes from Japan?"

A: "Yo! Sushi! I don't like sushi. Have you ever had sushi? Yo! Have you ever had Thai food? Thai food! Tofu! Is that like tofu!? Right, Tofu is from Japanese?"

Mr. J: A...

Alex: "Right? It's from Japanese right!?"

Ask and ye shall...

This is a conversation I have frequently, and I get some pleasure out of it every time:



Student (yelling): "Mista I need to use the bathroom!"

Mr. F: "I can't hear you because your hand isn't up..."

Student (annoyed, raises hand, yelling again): "Mista, I need to use the bathroom!"

Mr. F (in a peppy teacher tone, you know, the one your 1st grade teacher used): "The point of raising your hand is closing your mouth..."

Here, the student, more annoyed than before, silently raises his/her hand.

Mr. F (with a smile): "Please put your hand down, we don't have time for questions."

Sticks and Stones

These are the various ways students have tried (without success) to demoralize and degrade me:

"Mr. F, you ain't nothin'"


"Mr. F, you're like the sixth man for music teaching"
(that's a basketball reference)

"You're not like a real teacher anyway"


"No offense, but it's 'cause this class ain't real!"


And my favorite, a conversation that I cannot go a week without having:
Student: "We don't have to listen to you!"
Mr. F: "Why is that?"
Student: "Cause you just a substitute!"
Mr. F: Then why I am here every day teaching you?"
Student: "No you not!"

At this point, I give up on trying to reason with the student(s).


I am, by the way.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Students have had much to say regarding my new facial hair:

"Mista, you look like Jesus!"



"Hey mista, the beard looks pretty good..."

"Really?"

"Um...no."


"You look like the kind of guy who looks in the mirror every morning and makes faces at himself sayin', 'Yeah, I look good!'.

One member of the staff couldn't hold back either:

"I know you're Italian. But with the beard, you look like a Hasidic Jew. I notice you are attracting all of the girls now!"